I guess it takes little steps to beat bulimia. today i've done ok so far...i ate 800 calories and didn't let it go into a full out binge, which is good. 800 is still considered "starvation diet" yet it seems too much to consider as success to me. and there's something telling me now that i can no longer eat anything over 800 calories. that thought makes me feel safe. anyways i'm going to excercise and relax today and try to go outside more and just feel good. but for some reason i can't go outside even in my own backyard just because i feel so fat. i can't wait to lose weight so that i can actually go out and get some sun! i'm honestly a hermit, the only place i go is work. all i do is sit home and eat. it's gross. anyways after this first day of 800 calories, i should be able to ease down. i'm not gunna aim my excercise goals too high today cuz when i do that i get discouraged. i'll excercise a bit if i feel like it.
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